I don't know what I'm doing anymore.  I want to be with him, but at the same time, it's not the same anymore.  I am making a bunch of excuses for myself.  I hope I won't regret this.  I hope what I said to Nhu is right.  I hope he won't hurt me anymore.  I hope everything will be okay.

I didn't know why I was sad when I got work that day.  I wanted to cry so bad like it was lodged in my throat but couldn't get out.  I felt so relieved once I let it all out... I guess it wasn't all out yet b/c once we walked to our car, I started leaking uncontrollably.  I really needed hugs that day so Binh stopped by to give me one.  We ended up at the mall for some reason, but we were supposed to meet up with Joe.  We waited at the food court for awhile and saw Anthony.  He gave me a hug.  When Joe finally came, he was with My, Nu, and Trinh.  I got hugs from all of them.  While shopping with them, I wanted to cry again so we made plans with Joe to eat at Samurai and left.  I went home to take a nap.  After the nap, I felt much better.  We got dressed and waited for Joe with Nhu and Allison.  He actually told us he was thinking of getting me flowers when we called him to ask where he is.  He finally arrived, and we left for Samurai.  When we got seated, Joe sat next to me real close.  Throughout the whole dinner, he kept on scooting his chair real close to me and putting his arm around me.  When we got back home, Nhu went to the library while I waited for Joe to leave so I could talk to Allison, but he wouldn't leave and just laid on the couch/bed.  He kept on telling me to put in the movie, but I told him I was going to wait to watch it with Nhu and that I needed to fold my clothes.  He wouldn't leave and it was getting late so Allison had to leave.  It was just me and him.  I couldn't get rid of him so I put in the movie.  I decided to lay on the floor so he got on the floor too.  Em was bothering us so I put her in my room.  When I got out, Joe had his arm outstretched on my pillow.  I told him to move his arm but he wouldn't.  He pulled me down to lay on his arm instead.  I struggled for a bit but eventually gave up when he wouldn't let go.  I laid as far away from him as possible while he hold me.  I wanted to cry from the romance comedy.  that was the whole reason why I rented it to begin with, but Joe wouldn't let me cry.  He kept on laughing with his annoyingly infectious laugh.  When Nhu came home, he immediately removed his hand from my shoulders and waited until the movie was over to leave.

6 hours... I'm so nervous... and excited.  What would people think?  Say?  How am I going to feel about it?  How is it like?  What would HE think about it?  Well... I shouldn't care about that last one...